I was asked to write something and share on the night of my churchs fundraiser and this is what I came up with.
I will stand today,
even though it may hurt and may come with much difficulty
even when the ashes of what once was burn my feet
and my toes curl in agony
and my knees shake from the weight that I carry
even with the tears I wear that stain my skin
unwashed, untouched
left there as momentum's of growth
and the mismatched pieces that make up my heart
held together with the glue of good intentions
The pain I've felt forever indented in me,
often replaying itself
The thirst for love my heart beats for
its forever an addict
The cry for rest that yells within me.
the longing for home, for peace, for contentment
Oh, I will stand and I will carry on
and my feet do ache,
my head does too pound with fear,
my knees do shake
and the tears still coming,
the rest to me not given,
my heart still beating,
the light that is mine still shining, still alive
I will stand and fight and continue to rescue myself from the shadows that overwhelm me
I choose life.
I chose life today,
and I will continue to choose life
over and over again as hard as it can be.
I'll feel the pain as it comes
in waves
spilling over onto my face
I'll walk one foot in front of the other because none of us were ever meant to stay the same
I will transform,
what a gift to myself
I'll learn and unlearn
I will laugh as often as I'm able for it releases the pressure of all the pain
I'll do the best I can and that'll just have to do
I will not stop.
I've wasted too much time sitting,
fading away
so now?
Now, I will stand.
