A few days ago, I was sitting alone eating cake while binge watching "Girl Meets World", like adults do, and all the thoughts and feels and things I didn't have time to actually feel throughout my work week were coming to me in a big rushed wave. I went to take a shower then I got dressed and walked around this house we were gifted with house sitting and I held myself. My arms wrapped tightly around my waist because there was nothing left in my ability to ignore or fight all these feelings away so I felt them and there was a lot of hurt. Then as I've been learning to do I reached out to a friend and let her know that I was eating all the things and that I was numb and overwhelmed all at the same time. That I was so deep in the depths that life was giving me an anxiety attack. She responded not too long later with a good long text reaffirming my worth and hope. The sun always rises, remember?? It said.
So, with that I sat down and repeated to myself. "Rise again, like the sun." Sometimes the amount of things that need to be done and the amount of time and money and patience that needs to be present can become scary and overwhelming that I feel like missing work and staying in my comfy safe place. I don't want to meet life right where it is anymore. When and why did I EVER think that was a good idea?? NO. Nope, never again. Whether it be physical or emotional things its all too much so I am just staying within the comforts of my safe little space inside myself. BUT, but then things remind me to rise again. So many things, they're everywhere. Whatever may do it for my soul, I'm reminded "hey! hey you! RISE!" So I do, after some kicking and screaming from my soul ,maybe even during, I rise again, just like the sun.
I wanna get that tattooed some day.
