Lately, my hope has forgotten itself.
Well, maybe not completely but it sure is running around without its head attached. Life in all its stuff and random slaps to the face can make our human-y selves dissolve into yuck moods and adult temper tantrums. Oh, everyones looks differently but all still pretty much the same. We aren't all that different, me and you. Sometimes daily routines can be so hard! Like sometimes I just wanna eat breakfast and not worry about my hair, in its big troll glory, scaring the public. False alarm people, there is NO zombie apocalypse today I just couldn't put myself together this morning. Yup, life is hard but we know this. I know this just as much as I know the moon is still here when the sun is out. So highlighting on these past two weeks with finding out my grandma whom I love so much for the strong, silly, stubborn woman she is has a tumor in her stomach and is coming here to the big city get surgery and how the youngest of my brothers lost the van he laid his head in at night and now is out in the universe with no where safe to go at night and my heart aches bad even with all my frustration with him and how the oldest of my brothers can't come to discover his real unhealthy issues and how my new job is wonderful but stressful because there's no home to get ready in or leave my family in. I feel all of that very much. I feel it and I cannot help but get caught up. I cant help but feel it all so intensely the squishy person inside me curls up real small in the dark expecting the outside to keep on functioning normally. Feeling all of this stuff is so okay, I mean shame should not be a thing for feeling all my feelings but so much of the time I can forget that there is more to me than what I'm feeling so sometimes I write favorite quotes of mine on my arm as a physical reminder for these important things and today it was this. "We must become more than what we suffer"
Well, maybe not completely but it sure is running around without its head attached. Life in all its stuff and random slaps to the face can make our human-y selves dissolve into yuck moods and adult temper tantrums. Oh, everyones looks differently but all still pretty much the same. We aren't all that different, me and you. Sometimes daily routines can be so hard! Like sometimes I just wanna eat breakfast and not worry about my hair, in its big troll glory, scaring the public. False alarm people, there is NO zombie apocalypse today I just couldn't put myself together this morning. Yup, life is hard but we know this. I know this just as much as I know the moon is still here when the sun is out. So highlighting on these past two weeks with finding out my grandma whom I love so much for the strong, silly, stubborn woman she is has a tumor in her stomach and is coming here to the big city get surgery and how the youngest of my brothers lost the van he laid his head in at night and now is out in the universe with no where safe to go at night and my heart aches bad even with all my frustration with him and how the oldest of my brothers can't come to discover his real unhealthy issues and how my new job is wonderful but stressful because there's no home to get ready in or leave my family in. I feel all of that very much. I feel it and I cannot help but get caught up. I cant help but feel it all so intensely the squishy person inside me curls up real small in the dark expecting the outside to keep on functioning normally. Feeling all of this stuff is so okay, I mean shame should not be a thing for feeling all my feelings but so much of the time I can forget that there is more to me than what I'm feeling so sometimes I write favorite quotes of mine on my arm as a physical reminder for these important things and today it was this. "We must become more than what we suffer"
If today or this week or year or any past yesterdays have been hard and need validation I want to say I see you. ME TOO. Lets rid each others taunting-lonely-shadow feeling inside because ME TOO.
